Helicopter Parents
Posted May 17th, 2008 by adminThe life of a college student is defined by freedom and the chance to discover, finally, who you are as a person and come into your own. This is a vital time in a young adult’s life and it is critical that they be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, sometimes on their own.
The phenomenon known as helicopter parents may block this growth. According to Wikipedia, the definition of a helicopter parent is “…a person who pays extremely close attention to his or her child or children, particularly at educational institutions. They rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them or letting them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children’s wishes. They are so named because, like a helicopter, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach whether their children need them or not.”
There are pros and cons of having a helicopter parent. The pros are:
- Students who are in constant contact with a parent or guardian are most likely more satisfied in their school life.
- Students report deeper learning experiences.
- Students report greater gains with learning on their own and learning to work with people from different backgrounds.
The other side of the coin:
- Students with highly involved parents tend to have lower grades.
source: http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2007-11-04-nsse-helicopter-parents_N.htm
Helicoptering, as the term is used, is not relegated to middle- and upper-class students and parents. The phenomenon crosses all class and race barriers, and can be defined by five different categories.
They are:
- The “Consumer Advocate” parent—views each phase of the college experience as a business transaction and wants the biggest bang for their buck.
- The “Only Want What’s Best for My Child” parent—requires that their child have access to the best classes, professors, dorms, internships, and majors.
- The “Helopat” parent—fights for fairness and think that universities aren’t offering equitable resources to all students.
- The “Entitlement Advocate” parent—believes that no child should be left behind and keeps up with the latest state and federal requirements for education.
- The “Vicarious College Student” parent—tries to live out their missed college years through their child.
source: http://www.utexas.edu/features/2007/helicopter/
Whatever the case may be, being supportive of a college student is necessary. To prevent helicoptering, start early by assigning responsibility to the student during high school. Resist the temptation to step in and take over (except for those situations that need parental resolution). Begin letting go in increments and by the time the student is in college, they will come to you when they need support and won’t feel like you are smothering them.
Happy learning!
Glad my parents aren’t like that, nor have they ever been. After a short, battle strewn phase in my child hood they basically decided to leave me be, putting faith in the idea that everything is a learning experience, particularly as I had already proven my self an intelligent, independent individual. I’ve always thought that was the best policy, to take everything as a learning experience. It’s immensely important for keeping me from going off the deep end; when I recently earned my first ‘F’ and ‘D’ in my entire educational career I was able to sit back, analyze the situation, and carry on with life.
Comment by maculate — April 10, 2009 @ 9:09 pm